I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
