I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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