I've blown a few things in my day
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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