I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
