you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
