My friends, they love my intelligence
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
