yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
