i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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