no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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