I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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