I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
