Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.

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(914): View more from New York

last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function

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(253): View more from Washington

I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome

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(310): View more from California

Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.

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