chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
