Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
