everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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