I wish I could teleport
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
