Sponge bath it is.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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