im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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