in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
pray to the hookup gods
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
