Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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