whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
