i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
