the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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