nut hugger
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
God, I missed his penis.
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