addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
