i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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