There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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