remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
