$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
