I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
