I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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