I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
