I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
