they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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