Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
