If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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