I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
