plz talk dirty to me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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