my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
