omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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