A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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