I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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