I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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