i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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