so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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