Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Send help, water and tortillas.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
