i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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