I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
