Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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