I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
